Building body confidence

Hi, We’re Going to Talk About Body Confidence today here with me Darryl on this Bitesize episode at McCullagh Therapy. We’ve All Been There. We’ve Looked in The Mirror and Not Liked the Person Staring Back at Us. While This Can Be Mental as Well, It Is Often Physical. Maybe We Don’t Like That Bit of Pudge Around Our Waist or The Shape of Our Curves. No Matter What the Problem is, there is a solution.

Our Bodies as Our Temples
We are told we should treat our body well and we will feel mentally well. However, the opposite is true as well. Our bodies, minds, and emotions all feed our well-being and health. I notice that many of us are harsh about our bodies. We worry about being constantly judged which can allow us to slip into this place where we get low self-esteem and lack confidence.
Our Western media and culture don’t make it any easier. With diet pills and things, we are supposed to do to look perfect, no wonder we have a messed-up sense of body image. But we cannot allow ourselves to get stuck in that negative pattern of thoughts. it just brings us down and makes it harder to take care of ourselves.
Thankfully, there are powerful and effective strategies that you can use to develop a more positive view of yourself – one that will last.
Before we discuss how you can improve your body confidence, let’s talk about why body confidence is so important in the first place.
Importance of Body Confidence
• Feeling good about yourself physically is vital for mental health. Positive self-image plays a large role in combating.
– anxiety
– depression
– stress
– insomnia
– and sometimes fear.
• Confidence creates stronger social connections. It allows you to increase your comfort zone and to develop as a person, taking risks that promote growth and experience.
• Body confidence is a great way to show yourself self-love. Without self-love, we are more prone to end up in negative thought patterns that inhibit future positive behaviours. We are often far harsher in what we think about ourselves than what we think of those we love.
• With self-love, it becomes easier to have an attitude of gratitude regarding your virtues and even your flaws.
• Helps you achieve your full potential by promoting courage and motivation to explore new situations and experiences.
• Having respect for yourself and your body allows you to develop a more caring and positive attitude towards everyone in your life.

10 Ways to Improve Body Confidence
There are easy ways that you can start to improve your body confidence – most changes you can even start right now.
Here are 10 ways to improve body confidence – without changing how your body looks in any way.

1. Attitude of Gratitude
Find your attitude of gratitude today. It can be as simple as writing down one thing a day that you are grateful for. Just continue to add something new and see how many things you have to be grateful for. Just like a muscle, it’s a bit hard to flex at first, especially if you’re having a bad day, but it’s worth it to see what you have.
This helps you develop a positive attitude and focus on the good things about yourself and your body. It can even make your day more pleasant. Some find it easier to do this at the beginning or the end of the day. Or even at the time, they need it most during the day, like after a rough talk with the boss.
Psychologists estimate that it takes at least 21 days to fully adopt a new habit, so try to make your gratitude list every day for at least 3-4 weeks. You should be able to reflect and see how your thinking and self-esteem have changed at that point. Start small and find your attitude of gratitude.

2. We All Need Somebody to Lean On
Support systems are important to everyone. We often fail to realise how huge an effect friends and family have on our confidence. if you are constantly surrounded by negative people, it makes it hard to think positively. It can bring down your confidence instead of building it up.
Think about the 10 people you spend the most time with. Do they make you feel better or worse about yourself? If they are hurting your self-confidence, it may be time to limit or eliminate your time with them. Alternatively, you can talk to them about their stinking thinking (if you think they’d be receptive). Maybe they can be more supportive.
In addition, find new people who foster the ideal traits you want to grow within yourself. If you can build a stronger support system, it can help improve your confidence. And you may even be able to help someone else along the way by supporting them as well.

3. I Wish I Were More Like…
Comparisons are damaging to our self-esteem and confidence. We all do it at some point. It can be so easy to forget that we are different from the people we want to be like. We all have our insecurities and problems. And we all like to think that the grass is greener over someone else’s fence.
Comparisons only cause us to bring ourselves down. Causing negative beliefs to appear, which just makes you feel worse. Stop comparing yourself to others and focus on the things you do like. And if you want to learn a skill from someone better at it than you, ask them. Maybe they can give you some pointers. Just realise that you may have to find your own way to make it work. Their method may not fit your life or the way your brain processes things. Which is okay.
One thing you can do to help kick the habit of idealising other people is to keep a note of the compliments you receive. Someone out there is likely envious of something you have or do. And we must remember that to someone else, our grass may be greener. We are more critical of our flaws than anyone else would ever have time to be. It’s time to think kindlier about ourselves and see where that takes us instead.

4. Change Your Mindset
While this may seem complicated, there are tools you can use to make it easier. One of them is self-hypnosis. It can be done from the comfort of your own home. There are tools out there, or you can go to a hypnotist to teach you.
In case you’re wondering exactly what hypnosis involves, you can check out my other podcasts on this matter. Just know that it doesn’t change you in ways that you don’t want to change. It just helps you enter a receptive state of calm where you can work with your unconscious to make a permanent change. The suggestions any ethical hypnotist would give are ones you have already endorsed, and that support your goals.
In sum, being able to change your mindset is a powerful way to improve body confidence, and hypnotherapy is one of the most effective methods for changing your mindset.

5. Practice Self-Care
We talked about self-love a little bit earlier. It is a great way to improve body confidence. When you care and love yourself, you soon realise that you don’t need others’ opinions to validate yourself. You begin to feel proud of who you are.
Self-care can happen in many ways. It may be taking time to do things you enjoy or facing your fears. For some, it’s just a quiet evening at home and for others it’s a loud rambunctious adventure taking you out of your comfort zone. Self-care is different for each person. it just needs to be what is right for you. Self-love helps you realise how you deserve to be treated by others.
In addition to encouraging changes at a conscious level, practising consistent self-care sends your subconscious mind the message that you are worthwhile, valuable, and deserving of love. We send the opposite message when we treat ourselves poorly (as many of us do). When we don’t eat well or get enough sleep, we strengthen those negative thought patterns that tell us we don’t deserve good things.

6. Change the Conversation
The way we talk to ourselves, and others can affect our thoughts and behaviours. The same is true of how others talk to us. If you often find that the conversations are negative and are aimed at other appearances, try to change the conversation. Many people do not realise that they are hurting others’ feelings when they make these comments. If they are doing it on purpose, you should likely hang out with some new people.
This can be done respectfully in an empowering way that does not hurt your friend’s feelings. For example, you could recognise the impact such conversations have on you by saying something like:
“I have a hard time seeing myself positively when we have these kinds of conversations. It makes me wonder what other people say about me behind my back. Can we please change the topic?”

7. Affirmative Affirmations
Affirmations are positive phrases that you repeat to yourself. We use them to replace the mean words our inner critic yells at us internally. If you say them often though, they become beliefs that will shape your actions. Just look in a mirror and say something nice about yourself, general or specific.
You may say:
• I love and appreciate my body.
• When I look in the mirror, I see how beautiful I am.
• I love my eyes, my hair, and my legs.
Experiment with the timing as well. As with our attitude of gratitude, you may find it more beneficial in the morning or right before bed. Keep trying new times until you find something that feels right to you.

8. Fake It till You Make It
We’ve all heard the expression. There’s some truth to it. If you act like x for long enough, you start to be like x. But what does this look like? You may:
• Assert yourself and your needs.
• Make eye contact with people.
• Walk with your head held high.
• Dress the way you want to in the clothes you truly love rather than dressing to hide your figure.
It’s likely that you will be surprised by the reactions of others to your feigned confidence. But when you project confidence people begin to treat you as if you are. And their perception will help you influence your own in the right direction.

9. Cut Back on social media
We all know what time and emotional suck social media can be. Beyond being a misrepresentation of life in general, you get one of two extremes. Either the idea that everyone else’s life is perfect (like their crap doesn’t stink) or that everything in the world is so ugly and horrible that it’s the end. Both are over-exaggerations that are not only harmful but untrue.
The internet is a great tool, but not when we use it in ways that harm us mentally. It may come down to managing your time on the internet or signing off for a bit. Or just making sure that the time you spend online is looking at things that you care about or that bring you joy.
There are also some groups out there where they get real. They get honest. This can be a relief in an online world of black and white. Online it often feels like everything is either amazing or awful. This can be a big relief to new mothers, who are often dealing with low self-esteem and worries about not being good enough.

10. See Yourself in A Different Light
All around us, we are bombarded with images of what we should look like. We think we should look perpetually young, or thin and shapely. That we should be able to perfect our look without too much work or effort. Without trying too hard. It’s exhausting.
Apart from being unrealistic, it’s unhealthy. It overlooks the value and meaning to be found in the beauty of being imperfect. Natural marks are then viewed as blemishes to eradicate or correct. It teaches us to hate what was naturally given to us, even where there might be beauty in it.
A stretch mark is a sign of bringing life into the world. A scar on the chest of a cancer survivor is a mark of courage. The burn scar I got in high school is a reminder of the lessons learned. Now, no one even notices it marking my wrist but me.
All these things are not blemishes; they are signs of life. Signs that we have lived and hopefully lived well. Every unique feature is a story related to your success, growth, perseverance, and strength. Remember this the next time you consider criticising your looks.

You Can Do IT

Everyone can make the changes listed above. Just replacing even a few of your old thoughts and habits with some of the new ones above can yield results. Try one or all of them. I don’t know you. I can’t see you right now. But I truly believe that each and every one of us is beautiful in our own way. That each of us can turn those feelings into feelings of worth.
And if you still struggle, then seek help. Either hypnosis or some other type of intervention. Because you deserve it. To feel loved and worthwhile. To love yourself and your body.

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