Don’t let your worst, take away your best
Hi and welcome back. I am Darryl and welcome to McCullagh Therapy and welcome to bitesize. Where we serve up bite-sized portions of inspiration, knowledge, and insight! In this series, we will be making the statement that: Don’t let your worst take away your best. Sometimes we let out negative little voices in our heads to overpower those positive parts of us. So what can we do?
The Best Of You Is Still Inside
Your inner voice is your “protector”. Your inner voice is your best friend with your best interest at heart.
Yet, there are times where your inner voice turns critical – to the point where you are discouraged, you are frightened, maybe petrified. This nasty, nagging “voice” or stream of destructive thoughts results in preventing you from acting in your best interest or being the best of who you can be.
– “You are unlovable.” – “You are not worthy” – “You were never wanted” – “You are stupid” – “You are a failure” – “You are not man/woman enough” – “You can’t do this” – “You will not succeed” – “You are not appreciated by anyone” – “You are a wuss for tears/crying” – “You are a coward” – “You will never be better”
Where and when did these voices start? How to get rid of them? Is this really who you are?
Such voices mainly started early in life from experiences that were either internalized or from our authority figures (ie. Parents, caretakers, teachers, other children), where we picked up not only what was directed at us, but what we saw of adults around us towards themselves.
And through our inner voice, –
Whatever we feel or deem as “danger” or “frightening” or “scary” or “hurt” – our inner voice comes to our rescue. – When we feel hesitant when needing to make a decision – our inner voice kicks in. – When we feel anger, agitation, and frustration – we hear ourselves.
The inner voice you hear at random times throughout the day is either going to be your best friend cheering you on and on your side…or be your worst enemy constantly discouraging and criticizing you.
So how do you turn that critical discouraging voice to be your number one supporter and best friend whom you can rely on at all times? Who will uplift you, give you the surge of energy to take that step with the “hell, yeah! I did it!” result…
Tip #1: Find Yourself What inspires you? What inspires you to “move on”? What inspires you to “take that step and move forward”? Focus on that which inspires you, such as: – Think back to that moment where you went “Yeah!” and punched the air because you ACHIEVED – Think back to that moment when you felt ELATION or PRIDE welling from inside your chest – Think back to that moment where you felt bursting with POSITIVE EXCITEMENT Keep the feeling of these moments as these moments were REAL. They happened. They were PROOF that you CAN do it.
Tip #2: Talk To The Hand Consciously listen only for the positive. Not telling you to eavesdrop into conversations around you, but turn on that “selective hearing” switch that we were all born with. Listen only to the positive. Shut off the switch when the negative turns on. “Talk to the hand, my friendly-inner-critical-voice. Unless there is something nice or positive or encouraging to say, talk to the hand.”
Tip #3: Say It Like You Mean It And when that critical discouraging voice raises it’s head to “cocoon and protect you” – remember your ACHIEVEMENTS….your feelings of PRIDE, RESPECT, and ACCEPTANCE. Tell yourself the opposite of what the inner voice is saying. One small note – anyone can “tell” and “say” words. The key – say it like you mean it. Say it. Feel it. Mean it. “I AM good enough” – “I AM lovable” “I AM worthy” – “I AM wanted by those around me” “I CAN DO THIS”
Tip #4: Write Out The Truth Of Who You Are What better way than to put black on white? Ink on paper. Write it. See it. Read it. And know it to be true. Take pen to paper and make a list of all the discouraging phrases and criticisms that you hear inside of you and write the opposite of each one. Even if you end up writing and re-writing the opposite 100 times.
Remember when you were in school, preparing for the spelling test? How each forgotten how-to-spell word, we had to write it out 10-20-30 times. As frustrating as that task was, one thing rings true – the correct spelling of that word never lets your mind.
And the same rings true to who you are. When that inner voice puts you down, tell it to take a hike and remind yourself of the opposite. And if you are someone who needs “convincing” and “fact checks” – you have your list of achievements. You have your list of accomplishments. You. Have. It. All. Within. You.
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“Perspectives” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
